Eso Terra recap: Hosting my second retreat
- Carolyne Whelan
- Oct 8, 2025
- 7 min read
It's a little awkward to finish something, if I'm being honest. A body in motion and all that, so when there's no more target to be shuttling toward — no more gravitational pull — it feels a bit like being slingshot through a bullseye into jello.
I have a lot of logical motivation to get going on some ideas I have (and deadlines looming) and yet I also feel stuck, sluggish, and emotional after three weeks of deep conversation, supporting writers, and celebrating their stories (with a wedding thrown in for good measure).
After the last of my Eso Terra attendees left the rental property, I spent time cleaning the house and packing the van, triple checked for any lost belongings, and took Broose for a bike ride. I drove the winding road from Guadalupita to Las Vegas to return privacy screens I used for the shared room. It was an uncommonly wet summer and early fall in New Mexico, and this drive was no different — storms staggered the turns seemingly in beat with the construction stops, the unlucky workers stuck in a timeloop where the rain clouds sticked to them.
I made my way to Santa Fe and had Frito Pie and delicious conversation with my best friends, camped the night in the alley behind one of their homes, then began the long and scenic drive back to Montana: Up past the house I almost bought in Abiquiu, past the reservoir I spent a few days healing from dissentary, to an ancient pueblo in Colorado, up through Utah to camp in Horse Canyon, then on to Idaho to roam a National Wildlife Refuge on the first day of the federal government shutdown, then across the final state border, turning onto my exit just as my gas light came on, a perfectly timed exhaustion of all powers.
How'd it go?
There are things to adjust moving forward, and a big part of that is understanding that there will always be things to do better, things to change, and lessons to learn. But stories were shared, ideas were firmed and broadened, and brave outfits were adorned to step out of comfort zones.
When one attendee mentioned she was looking to incorporate more play, I shifted the focus of one of the writing sessions to be a group exercise in storytelling. It was awkward, it was less than perfect, it was wandering, and it was fun. It was a bit of improv, a bit of collective imagination, a lot of positive creation.
I based it off the exquisite corpse writing game, which is one of the activities my nerdy friends and I stayed up all night playing while in college: In exquisite corpse, one person writes 2 lines/sentences of a story (or poem, script, etc) on a piece of paper and folds the paper over the first line so only one line is showing. They then pass it to the next person who writes 2 more lines/sentences based on the one line they can read, folds the paper so once their last line is showing, and passes it along to the next person, around the circle. Everyone has to go at least once.
In our case, everyone went twice and as we did it verbally, there was no covering over lines, which made it a bit more like improv. The goal was to pull people out of their comfort zones, get used to sharing imperfect work, have fun making bad art, and feel how far a story can stretch when we let go a bit of control.
We also did a proper reading where we put on our brave pants (or shirt) and performed in front of the group without disclaimers and without looking (or giving) feedback beyond applause.
Wendy spent Friday morning and afternoon with us, sharing her witchy wisdom and grounding us in a mutual relationship to the natural elements. She brought them into focus with our emotional states using the Zodiac signs and their Elemental connections.
As we contain multiple signs and the system in general is a way to understand and organize the human condition, zodiac signs aren’t a diagnosis of how we are or should be, but lenses through which to understand our behavior and cultivate beneficial and desirable strengths we are able to see ourselves possessing through an outside factor labeling them
While I'm still processing the retreat, there are some lessons that were more front-loaded and easy to access:
I'm good at this stuff! It's easy to forget, or doubt, or downplay, so I'm getting it out now before I start on that pattern. I invited a friend to fill a spot because I thought he and his partner would add to the conversations and workshops in a positive way. He ended up paying me because of what he felt he received as an artist and writer. Feedback from attendees so far have been 8, 9, or 10 out of 10, with two so far interested in potentially continuing our work together.
Mistakes will be made. Have been made. Are being made. Will be later found and scrutinized, or later found and forgiven. There is no way to be a solopreneur and catch everything, guess every pivot, consider and successfully plan for every need with a positive outcome. Hell, even a full team wouldn't be able to do that.
It is at once life-giving and exhausting to put so much heart into an event like this, it felt like putting on a wedding — the build-up, the stress, the support and love, the whirlwind of the moment, the push and pull of it being an event for the guests and yet the host is the center of it, and the post-event come-down were all so strong and so real.
With the right protocols, directive, and guardrails, don't underestimate the power of group feedback. After our three days of workshopping together, attendees were interested in continuing meet-ups to keep the conversations going and motivation moving forward. Not only can you learn more from multiple perspectives — including being affirmed and tightening your focus through having to argue on your story's behalf, or who isn't your target audience — it also helps to have consistent accountability outsourced to a community. *For more insight into the power of community, check out ADHD Big Brother's podcast or/and community.
Not everyone will vibe with your style, and that isn't a reflection of your work or your story. In fact, it's a good sign that you are on the right track! Anything that is able to suit every need and personality is likely bland, impersonal, and ineffective. If you write something that manages to speak to everyone, it's probably not saying all that much. This is why identifying your audience is so important.
So, how am I regaining my focus?
First, while I took a pause from the ADHD Big Brother community due to too much travel, just the few months I spent in the group gave me some great resources and patterns.
I'm also trying to find a balance between exercise and stillness. Immediately after returning home, Every day of travel and the retreat, I went on multiple hikes with Bruce. Now that we are home, I'm trying to stay moving but give myself space to relax and NOT listen to the news. I attended a weekend-long wedding at a cabin — the main reason for heading back so quickly. It was a beautiful non-ceremony and perfect weekend with friends, but also zapped me emotionally so once I got home I spent the day (or two) watching movies and zoning out with a very addictive puzzle game which I have since deleted from my phone. Playing hockey last night got my blood flowing again and gave me some clarity and structure, including the clarity that I needed to delete that game and get my brain moving again.
The tools: to-do list, a calendar, and as many reminders as I need (a lot) to get my brain back on track with meetings, appointments, and the concept of time that isn't singular and all-encompassing. Beyond that, for me, things get complicated: Notion templates, Trello, saved tabs folders, etc. can be helpful once you're moving and grooving, but can also be a distracting vortex of decision and information overload.
After a major event, a big part of the come-down is a recovery from decision fatigue. There's an information overload when we work with a group of new people, and that includes the thousands of decisions we make every day to make sure everything runs smoothly. I love the fluidity of shifting on the fly to attend to the needs of the group in the moment, but it wrecks my brain. My sense of time is mush, and I can either berate myself for not being able to jump back into things or lean into the support I have: Myself. That is, myself from the past who built these support systems.
If you're working with a small business owner, give them grace and appreciate the love they are putting into the project because it is very likely NOT for the money and they've probably already lamented over everything you are just figuring out isn't perfect.
That said, the next retreats are in the works. I don't want to share too much information, but get your winter gear ready, and your passport updated. I'll have more information to share next week.
Also, after some attendees mentioned wanting a way to continue the community outside the retreat, I've been working on a way to make that a reality. Not just for retreat attendees, but for writers in general who write about the outdoors in a broad sense. If you write for brands, have a blog, review products, or are a journalist who covers outdoor recreation, the environment, politics, or anything else about the Great Outdoors, I want to build a space for you. Imagine a community where you can find calls for pitches, contact info for publications and PR folks, give and receive feedback on pitches or queries, workshop story ideas or get feedback on the first draft of a piece that's taking a leap, and much more, based on the idea of community and group support.
Would you join this gang?
Yes, I thought you'd never ask!
Not for me
I'm not sure this is right for me but I'd like to learn more
Speaking of communities, I know I can't stop talking about ADHD Big Brother, but here's another plug for them. This isn't a paid endorsement or anything, but I genuinely think Russ is doing some phenomenal work helping people help each other become more fulfilled versions of themselves. He put together this free gift that aligns so well with what I've been thinking about with the post-retreat fog, he said I can share it here. Check it out if you're interested!
Free Gift: Ready, S.E.T., GO! Framework
When you have ADHD, you know the paradox: you need action first, and motivation might follow. But getting that initial action for boring or overwhelming tasks can feel impossible.
That's why Russ Jones, host of the ADHD Big Brother podcast and a friend of Coaching with Brooke, created the Ready, S.E.T., GO! method. This simple, 3-part framework is designed to help you break through task paralysis and get unstuck!
Stop waiting for motivation and start generating momentum.
Russ is sharing this framework as a free welcome gift when you subscribe to his ADHD Big Brother newsletter.